Today is Mother’s Day in Latvia and it’s got me thinking about the differences between Irish and Latvian mothers. Naturally, it’s a bit generalised but feel free to get offended anyway.
To an Irish mammy, two things are of the utmost importance – that you’ve eaten enough and that you’re warm enough. From what I’ve seen, the priorities of the Latvian māte are a little different. (There’s no point in comparing fathers as Latvian men never get a say in anything.)
IM: You’re going out like that? You’ll catch your death!
LM: You’re going out like that? Maybe you should take off a layer or two. How do you expect to trap catch a man looking like that?
∗
IM: Who’s your friend? She’s very pretty.
LM: Who’s your friend? She’s very pretty. I hope she won’t be too much competition.
∗
IM: Who’s your friend? He’s very good-looking. (I wonder if she fancies him?)
LM: Who’s your friend? He’s very good-looking. (I wonder if he fancies me?)
∗
IM: Have you decided what you want to do at university yet?
LM: Why haven’t you started reproducing yet?
∗
IM: Go on, have another biscuit. A bird never flew on one wing.
LM: You’re having another biscuit? Do you think men like fat girls?
∗
IM: (Hushed tones) She has three children by three different men…
LM: She has three children by three different men. You could learn something from her.
∗
IM: Don’t cry, love. There are plenty more fish in the sea. It’s his loss.
LM: Don’t cry. It’s not over until you play the fake pregnancy card.
∗
IM: You’re getting married? That’s fantastic! I’ll put the kettle on…
LM: You’re getting married? That’s fantastic! Now you can start making him really miserable…
∗
IM: You’re pregnant? That’s fantastic! I’ll put the kettle on…
LM: You’re pregnant? That’s fantastic. He’s properly trapped now.
Cheers, mam!
So there you have it.
Happy Mother’s Day.
(And mam, if you’re reading this, yes, I’ve just eaten and I am warm enough.)
Expat Eye on Latvia 
Hmm, not too witty this time. You can do better.
Not too witty this time.
Sorry to disappoint 😉
Oh wow…the comments…I take it ‘yo mumma’ jokes aren’t a goer in Latvia?!
I like to learn things the hard way 😉
Wow, thanks a lot for this … I will ask my latvian mum is it possible to switch her to Irish mum 🙂
Ha, maybe you could try training her up first?? 🙂
thank`s for advice. It will be tough work to do. But for the first lesson I just print this stuff and let`s see what will follow then …
You’re a brave man/woman 😉
it`s not significant am I man or woman, thank`s to Conchita 🙂
Very true! Good old ‘Pussy Sausage’ 🙂
I forgot to mention that mostly latvian mothers have black belt in the cooking. 🙂 My mom shows her best when I am visiting her.
Ha ha, yeah, I think that’s true of Latvian women of all ages! Women my age amaze me with the stuff they can do! Then I impress them with my beans on toast 😉
Ok, I’ll give a try…
Latvian mothers are conservative, because they all are grown up in ussr, and our grandmothers watched after our moms, because any trouble that youngsters could do these days, probably would get you in the jail or worse back then.
But now our mothers are like moral cross-border of generations, they allow more freedom, but watch after you until old age. But when you are grown up person, there’s two things what moms will always do for their children – a place to come back, if there’s a problems and save the money for the best education what they can get. They want you to have everything you are dreaming of.
Linda…..I feel sorry for you and your mother. Just wondering why didn’t I realise earlier that you are some dirty scumbag from Ireland. That is the only excuse to that cynical and dishonorable generalisation of latvian mammas especially on Mother’s day.
My suggestion is put on your beloved Penney’s pigammas and go back to your travellers mobile house where you belong the best with all of the Irish “pride”.
You are disgrace to any mother and any nation. Scum!
Aw, I miss Penney’s…
I read this and thought it was funny. And then I remembered I was a mum and a Latvian. Damn 🙂
Ha ha ha! Made you laugh 😉
Not exactly sure on what your silly assumptions about Latvian mothers are based. Have you ever met a Latvian Mamma that would actually be like that?
I really enjoy most of your posts but this one is offending and terribly untrue..
Sorry if you’re offended, but I know several Latvian girls whose mothers are exactly like this! But of course, it’s generalised – I’m sure there are lovely Latvian mothers, just as there are bound to be horrible Irish ones!
Well…
I was just compelled, sorry I’m posting so late. This is the first time I write on your blog so, to begin with, I know quite a few people who have moved here from elsewhere and been living in Latvia for years. They love it and have no intention of going back. Obviously, they do not live in the worst part of the city, and when they go out, they look for some nice place to have a good time, not crapholes. Speaking of which – I’ve been to many cities in Europe and I’m certain that, be it London, or Paris, or Amsterdam, or Barcelona and so on – if your sole purpose of being there is to find loathsome places, loathsome places you’ll find, galore.
Now, the reason I’m writing, your Mothers Day post – it’s not just biased or unfounded, it’s so full of bile that I feel sorry for you. Even more so for the fans of your blog who seem to genuinely enjoy it.
You just seem to be in the wrong place. But I do wish you better luck in Germany, I really do.
Yours, a former reader
No bile, just humour. Sorry you don’t have any 😉