It’s no secret that men have some habits that we ladies find questionable. Unrestrained as they are by pressures to be ‘ladylike’, men are far more open about their bodily functions than we are. Farting and belching are sources of great amusement. Scratching of certain parts in public is explained away as ‘essential adjustments’. In Ireland, I used to work with a guy who, at around the same time every morning, would tuck his newspaper under his arm and cheerfully announce that he was off to ‘do his dirt’… Obviously nobody wanted to borrow that newspaper afterwards.
However, if you think that this is as good (or as bad) as it gets, think again. Latvian Man has, yet again, outdone himself and raised the bar to giddy heights. So guys, if you want to learn a new trick to amaze and impress your friends, read on for step-by-step instructions on how to perfect what I’ve affectionately dubbed the ‘Latvian Snot Rocket’.
1. While walking along a city street, exhale. Keep going until you have no breath left. (This is essential if you want to build up the necessary power for step 2.)
2. Throw your head back and inhale deeply and loudly, snorting and sucking every last ounce of phlegm and mucus into your nasal cavity.
3. Tilt your head forward until your nostrils are parallel to the pavement.
4. Press hard on one nostril with one or two fingers.
5. Close your mouth and exhale hard through your nose, expelling your green gift to humanity like a mucus missile onto the pavement.
6. Walk on, triumphant in the knowledge that you’ve left a little bit of yourself behind for other pedestrians to admire and aspire to.
Unfortunately, there’s no photo to accompany this post. Quite frankly, I didn’t have the stomach for it. But if any nationality feels that they can top the ‘Latvian Snot Rocket’, please leave your suggestions below for consideration…