The many layers of Latvian man

I’ve done it. I’ve finally achieved what I thought was impossible. I’ve found a diamond in the rough, a prince among men, a real boy in a land of Pinocchios. I have found, wait for it… A Good Latvian Man. It’s only taken two years, 8 months and 31 days. Not that anyone’s counting.

And no, it’s not this guy.

Latvia's sexiest man

Latvia’s sexiest man

I’ve given Latvian men a bit of a hard time in the past (troll talk) so I hope that this post redresses the balance a little.

Thursday afternoon started off much like any other. I strolled to my afternoon lesson, smiled my way past the ‘Grunty the Guard’, and walked into my student’s office (amazingly he’s not called Janis). I then made myself comfortable while he bustled about making me black tea with milk and sugar. It’s taken a lot of training for us to get to this point, believe me.

As he brought over my brew, he asked me how the Human Library had gone. We had a chat about it, and then, because he had been nice enough to ask, I felt obliged to return the favour and find out what he’d got up to over the weekend. It turned out that he’d had the weekend to himself as his wife and kid had gone away (yes, he’s taken), so he’d decided to treat himself to a bit of ‘me time’.

Unbidden images of him in day-old underpants flicking crumbs from his torso, surrounded by empty beer cans and pizza boxes, flitted through my mind.

UnJanis: I sued a pair of jeans.

Me: What?? (Sometimes my professional politeness goes out the window when I’m stumped)

Cue manic hand gestures from him and furrowed brows from me.

Me: Oh, you sewed a pair of jeans.

God, this was going to be even duller than the usual ‘Tales from a Latvian Forest’ I have to endure.

Me: So there was a hole in your jeans and you sewed it?

UnJanis: (Giving me the pitying look I reserve for students who are beyond all hope) No, no. I made a pair of jeans. From scratch.

Me: What?? (Oops, I did it again)

He explained it again, as if I was a slightly slow two-year-old. He had made a pair of jeans from scratch. It had taken him roughly sixteen hours. He’d had some denim just lying around. He owned a sewing machine. Yes, he’d put in buttons and pockets. He even showed me a couple of pictures – unfortunately thumbing past the semi-nude, work-in-progress shots. They looked good. They looked like real jeans you’d buy in a shop. And he’d made them. All by himself.

As someone who owns a sewing kit that has never actually seen the light of day, I found this truly amazing. I have a cardigan with a little hole in it that I’m planning on taking to a ‘lady who fixes clothes’ to have repaired. I’ve been planning this for around three months now. I’ve also considered using staples or blu-tack to hold it together – anything to avoid taking out my horribly judgmental sewing kit. (Assuming I can find it of course.)

So to say that I was impressed by this Latvian man is an understatement. I was blown away. Finally, here was a Latvian man who was layery not lairy; domesticated not intoxicated; style-conscious not sty-dweller.

And he’d been right in front of me all this time. OK, so this one is taken but it gives me hope that there might be others out there like him. But if not, at least I now know where to take my cardigan. I can’t wait for our next lesson.

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About BerLinda

Adjusting to life in Germany, after living in Latvia for four years. Should be easy, right?
This entry was posted in Humor, Humour, Latvian men and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

55 Responses to The many layers of Latvian man

  1. Pingback: Teaching English in Latvia: Linda - Gee, Cassandra

  2. Mary says:

    That made me chuckle! He created a pair of jeans?! Lol

    Was hoping to read more but the story just ended
    I’m considering dating a Latvian! So a random google search led me to this

  3. Inti says:

    Girts Kesteris resembles Max Branning..:/

  4. Pingback: Squashed | Expat Eye on Latvia

  5. kathexpat says:

    There’s HOPE!!

  6. Lasma Kokina says:

    For some messed up reason, I remembered this video while reading your post. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK55zKbm4Ps Has to do more with Latvian women (and their style…or lack thereof) than men, but still worth watching. Sadly, that video is meant to be a serious one.

  7. 1WriteWay says:

    I think you’ve made a good argument for cloning … one that women of many nationalities would understand and support 😉

  8. astrameklere says:

    Invented, I mean 🙂

    • Expat Eye says:

      Says on wiki he was a German Jewish businessman, born in Buttenheim (good place name!). Where are you getting this dodgy Latvian information from?! 🙂

      • astrameklere says:

        It was Latvia born jew – Jèkabs V. Dãvis (Jacob V. Davis), he invented rivets, later patented by Levis Strauss, and then jeans became popular. This man did not have enough money to register patent himself. 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        A typical Latvian complaint – there’s never enough money! Pity Levi Strauss got all the credit! I’ve never heard of the Latvian guy!

      • Yumm says:

        There are many famous, talented and saucy Latvian men (depends on one’s taste) – world-renowned Music Director Andris Nelsons, so-called Latvian “Leonardo di Caprio” actor Rihards Lepers, tennis star Ernests Gulbis and many others. Check out Eduard Leedskalnin (he maimed his name :() and Coral Castles in Florida – until this very day, American scientists can’t work out how the hell did he manage to build all that garden of coral blocks by himself. Just like Riga-born Jew Dāvis, this Latvian has left world with open mouth – where do they get their gifts from?
        Geez.., G. Kesteris in the picture is “a mistake”. Seems like it only takes to get in a TV soap to enter sexiness. LOL

      • Expat Eye says:

        Andris doesn’t do much for me, Rihards actually looks like a guy I know! But I’m not sure being called Linda Leper would do much to enhance my rep 😉 Didn’t get any hits for Eduard – apart from some OLD drawings, Dāvis – does he have floppy blond hair? If so, cute but young! 🙂

      • Yumm says:

        Oh, here’s the link to info about Ed Leedskalnin (he’s not a candidate just one of those weird geniuses) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Leedskalnin
        http://www.leedskalnin.com/

        Right, Linda Leper won’t do 😀

        How about Linda Gulbis from Ernests Gulbis ? http://www.vipi.lv/kaleidoskops/latvija/idn47747/optibet-prognoze-ernestam-gulbim-panakumus-turnira-monreala/
        (too bad can’t attach the pic)

      • Expat Eye says:

        He looks alright! And Linda Swan is certainly better than Leper 😉

  9. astrameklere says:

    Did you know that jeans was envented by Latvian inhabitan who moved to America? Should not be surprised then…. 😀

  10. Never mind men, look at this!
    http://theverybesttop10.com/2013/01/30/ever-kitkat-cakes/
    The Nutella piggy hot tub is mine, so don’t get any ideas..

  11. Marianne says:

    That’s impressive! Does he have a brother?

  12. pollyheath says:

    That’s amazing! Probably a sweet skill left over from when everyone was fist fighting over expensive new American jeans.

  13. Ellyse says:

    I can see that happening. I had a Latvian guy stay with me for a week at my flat in the US and he was ridiculously anal about his clothes, how they were washed, dried, and ironed. He even claimed that care for men´ s wear is a world away from care for women´s wear. Uhh, I even got yelled at once for not ironing the proper way….still, there was something charming about it.

    • Expat Eye says:

      Ha ha, do I detect a little soft spot for Latvian men?? I don’t even own an iron. He would have left my place screaming 🙂

      • Yumm says:

        I knew a Latvian guy who crocheted (made himself a hat). He had had a very rough teen years with punks and all; he was also using nail polish and doing all kinds of mad stuff. Alternative artistic girls (and especially one Finnish business lady) fell for him and fortunately he was very heterosexual. One of the basic qualities of a Latvian is PRACTICAL. Women rule the Latvian life and men are very domesticated (usually do the cooking without being forced).
        To check out more options and have good fun I suggest POSITIVUS festival in July (voted as one of the best European music fests) which takes place in Salacgrīva. I was amazed how many positive, cheerful, happy and stylish people there were. A guest from the US was impressed that there were no fights or too many drunks like in American festivals.
        Beautiful hipster girls AND handsome hipster (and not only) GUYS. Worth a try!

      • Expat Eye says:

        Does ‘very heterosexual’ there mean that he managed to sleep with all of them??? 😉
        Domesticated men – makes them sound a bit like neutered animals 😉 In a nice way! 🙂
        I’ve been in England whenever Positivus was on before but possibly this year! Thanks for the tip!

      • Yumm says:

        Yes, that crocheting guy was a real rock’n’roller – he had couple of femme fatales but mostly casual sex. This guy said that he’d love to be with a woman who’d be economically independent and could even take care of him. In the nutshell, Latvian and British men are very alike (personal opinion after having Latvian and British boyfriends) – bit awkward about talking or solving relationship issues, can be great chums as they respect women, hate commitments, and often some ex or other girl pops up when you’re gone for a month (but of course infidelity is characteristic to many nations).

      • Expat Eye says:

        I think a lot of guys would like to be with a financially independent woman who could take care of them! 🙂

  14. I bet his wife can make stilettos out of milk cartons and a broken egg whisk!

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