Is nowhere sacred?

Having played stairs roulette for two weeks in an attempt to break Hypochondriac Girl’s spirit (or legs), I realised that I was getting nowhere fast. Or rather, I was getting out of breath fast, but she just seemed to be getting faster at talking.

Upon hearing the same story for the eighth time, I decided more drastic action was called for. And what better way to escape someone with a gimpy knee (and pound out some frustration at the same time) than a good old-fashioned game of squash. Granted, I’d never played before, but desperate times and all that.

And so, yesterday evening, me and one of the other normal teachers (yes, I’m including myself in that category) took to the squash court. 40 minutes later, I emerged, sweaty and victorious. I had somehow managed to beat my worthy opponent 2-0, and to my credit, I only hit him twice – once with my racquet and once with the ball.

Feeling like nothing in the world could possibly get me down, I raced back to the house to have a quick shower. The thought of a few celebratory pints kept my smile firmly in place as I bypassed gimpy and another teacher gossiping in the hallway outside my door.

Mumbling a vague pleasantry while clutching towels and toiletries, I managed to make it past the two of them and to the relative sanctuary of the bathroom. Peeling off my satisfactorily sweaty sports duds, I stepped under the cooling jet of water. I was in the middle of happily lathering myself up when I realised someone was lurking outside the shower curtain…

Welcome to hell

Welcome to hell

…and they were speaking to me. I managed to make out ‘Linda’…’naked’…’show’…’text’, so in a slight panic, I removed my head from under the water to splutter a ‘what??’

Amid giggling, I heard ‘Oh Linda, I know you’re naked but I just had to show you this text! It’s so funny!’ Fearing that my hearing was failing me, or my sanity had finally left the building, I turned off the water to make sure I’d heard this correctly. I had.

Who, I ask you, interrupts a virtual stranger while they’re having a shower to tell them about a text message? English colleagues seemingly. And, to add insult to injury, it wasn’t even gimpy, it was the other teacher.

I have a horrible feeling of foreboding. The inappropriateness is spreading. The chatter is never going to stop. The walls are closing in. Nowhere, not even the shower, is safe anymore.

I sincerely doubt that a Latvian woman would carry on in this manner. They’d be far more likely to jump in the shower with you.

Only joking, sorry boys.

At least I still have my sense of humour, eh?

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About BerLinda

Adjusting to life in Germany, after living in Latvia for four years. Should be easy, right?
This entry was posted in Humor, Humour, TEFL, Travel and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

39 Responses to Is nowhere sacred?

  1. archecotech says:

    Gives new meaning to “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine”, like I’ll wash your back if you will wash mine.By the way Squash is a very fast game, used to play racquetball in college. During class, I’d play several different opponents and be exhausted afterwards.

    • Expat Eye says:

      Yeah, we pretty much both ended up lying on the floor at the end of the games! I’d quite like to keep it up though – but maybe I should just quit while I’m undefeated 😉

  2. Pingback: My Latvian Imaginary Friend | Expat Eye on Latvia

  3. How awful! The one place you might think was safe!

  4. Kristin says:

    How very strange indeed! Is that colleague of yours from Eastern Germany by any chance?
    I once had a colleague over for a drink. When at some point she had to use the bathroom, I was bewildered to see she didn’t close the bathroom door but instead, she was telling me how nice it was to be just the two of us so she didn’t have to close the door while peeing. Urgh. So who knows, you might be up for a nice surprise still!

  5. Linda, as a “pure” Latvian woman I can tell you – I would say a lot of rude Russian words in this situations, hopefully, noone would repeat that again… 😀 “being stripped, chucked into a sauna and then naked into the river!” is a ritual and a little different thing. 🙂

  6. 1WriteWay says:

    WTF! Maybe you could do a reverse Psycho on them and come out of the shower brandishing a knife? Well, probably the only thing saving your sanity (and their lives) is your sense of humor. Hope you can keep it going for another 2 weeks!

  7. I love this story – I’ve had similar issues with Swedes – what is it with Europeans and a) whipping their clothes off at the drop of a hat, and b) hanging out like that! I guess it’s a healthy thing ultimately, but takes some getting used to… !

    • Expat Eye says:

      I don’t think I ever will get used to it! Irish people struggle in these sorts of situations! We’re the doing Twister moves under the towel kind of people in the changing rooms 😉

  8. OMG! I really can’t believe that! Well….what was the text message anyway? 🙂

    • Expat Eye says:

      One of the other teachers had got locked in the school. She managed to get out but then was faced by a gate. She got through that as well but then tried to close it from outside and got her hand stuck for a few minutes. All pretty average stuff except for the joys of predictive texting – substitute goat for gate, and you’ve got a much better story. Still not worth barging in on someone in the shower though!!

  9. Sheesh. you can’t escape em. Maybe if there’s an arts + craft portion, you can make a ‘Do not disturb. Even if it’s for a really great text.’ Actually, that might look pretty in watercolor, maybe I’ll concoct something for you… 😉

  10. Oh my… Do not worry, my Lithuanian mother broke into my bathroom when I was having a shower to bring my my mobile because it was ringing. I was raging like a lion and I think she still has not forgiven me even if it was 10 years back. She was just doing a favor to me……

  11. bevchen says:

    Wow… I think after that you’re entitled to put yourself in the normal teachers category!! I wouldn’t even interrupt a friend in the shower for a text message, never mind a virtual stranger! Suddenly, I’m very glad I changed my mind about becoming an ESL teacher. I’ll stick to translating (we’re a weird lot as well, but translators’ weirdness tends to me more of the avoiding people completely and being terrified to talk on the phone variety.)

  12. Soon they’ll be boring you with their break-up stories while you’re doing a number 2. You just wait another couple of weeks..

  13. lafemmet says:

    Shocking and strange. No envy here. I like my privacy! um, but what was the text? Was it worth the interruption?

    • Expat Eye says:

      One of the other teachers had got locked in the school. She managed to get out but then was faced by a gate. She got through that as well but then tried to close it from outside and got her hand stuck for a few minutes. All pretty average stuff except for the joys of predictive texting – substitute goat for gate, and you’ve got a much better story. I’d still have to say, not worth the interruption though!!

  14. pollyheath says:

    I think you answered your own question: nothing is sacred, especially among us weird ESL teachers.

  15. “I sincerely doubt that a Latvian woman would carry on in this manner. They’d be far more likely to jump in the shower with you.

    Only joking, sorry boys.”

    I don’t think you’d be far wrong! I spent 5 months living and working in Estonia and never quite got my head around how different their perseption of privacy and personal space was! I almost didn’t recover from being stripped, chucked into a sauna and then naked into the river! But then, I’m 100% repressed British female, haha.

    Good luck finding somewhere ‘sacred’!

    • Expat Eye says:

      Oh god, I can only imagine the search terms I’m going to get after this, and the excitement your comment is going to cause! We should both get jobs for Baltic Tourism 😉 Thanks for following my blog! Linda.

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