Last weekend, this blog (about a country most people have never heard of) reached 50,000 views. I promised myself that when this happened, I would dedicate a post to the WWIA who helped me get to this point. Yes, it’s the Weirdos With Internet Access. You know the ones – they amble around cyber-space entering all sorts of, um, colourful search terms and somehow get shunted in the direction of your innocent little blog. I figure they deserve a bit of attention because it’s quite clear they’re not getting it from anywhere else. So here goes:
latvian grandpa cock
Really? Does it have to be a Latvian grandpa cock? Isn’t one grandpa cock pretty much the same as the next one? Anyway, I couldn’t find a grandpa cock at such short notice (well, OK, I didn’t look) so you’ll have to make do with this one…
what does a latvian man like in a woman
See above. Only smaller. Much smaller.
things what not to say to latvian girls
“Er, honey? Do you think maybe you’ve overdone it a bit with the leopard-print?”
“I forgot my wallet. Would you mind getting dinner this time?”
“I like your friend. She’s cute…”
ooh latvia, your men are so latvian!
You say this like it’s a good thing.
how can i make myself more attractive to a latvian man
Are you breathing? You’ve done enough.
i’m merried to a latvian
Yeah, I’m pretty sure there’s nothing ‘merry’ about it. Just ask this guy…
latvian wife might scratch
I only hope you realised this before you married her.
sex with latvian wives
Shouldn’t be too difficult to achieve. Unless you mean your own Latvian wife, of course. That could be trickier.
poke a latvian in the eye
Are you nuts? Anyway, first of all, you’d have to get them to actually look at you and this could take months. The urge will probably have worn off by then.
what to do with a latvian
Well, I’ve been here for over three years now and I still haven’t figured that out. I’m pretty sure poking them in the eye isn’t the way to go though.
latvians love leopards
No, they love wearing leopards. It’s really not the same thing.
what kind of coats do latvians wear?
Pretty much anything that used to have a face is perfectly acceptable in this part of the world…
do latvians wear irish
OK, I take back the previous comment. They haven’t gone this far. Yet. I’m fairly sure there are a few Latvians out there who wouldn’t mind making a nice expat handbag and shoes out of me.
my student never smiles
Ah, you’ve probably got yourself a Latvian there.
even latvian trees are called janis
I wish they were. It would make my life a lot easier when my students ask me the English name for some tree they’ve been prancing around recently.
the latvians found me
I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do for you now, my child.
save me from Latvia
Oh, HELL no! If I’m staying, you’re staying.
So there you have it – approximately 1% of the weirdness.
A big thank you to everyone who’s been reading – whether you arrived here intentionally or not…