Expat Eye is One!

Today Expat Eye on Latvia is one year old!

Huzzah!

Huzzah!

What a year it’s been – I’ve met some amazing people, both online and in the real world, and I’m so grateful to them for reading. I can hardly believe that this will be my 114th post. I remember when I started writing this blog being worried that nobody would ever read it. Then, towards the end of last year, I was worried that too many people were reading it…

So far, EE has been viewed over 140,000 times and received over 7,100 comments (which my mum loves reading by the way, so keep them coming). People from as far away as Jordan, Singapore, Brazil, Indonesia and Tanzania now know that the only things to outnumber the Jānises in Latvia, are the trees.

The number one search term that brings people to the blog is, strangely enough, Expat Eye on Latvia. I beat Latvian women by 123 searches. YES. I also have the dubious honour of being the first website that pops up if you google ‘Latvian grandpa cock’. Go on, try it and see. You know you want to…

7,700,000 results. Scary.

7,700,000 results. Scary.

The award for the best/worst comment goes, without a shadow of a doubt, to Solaris for this absolute corker:

The fact you are selectively moderating comments clearly shows your hypocrisy… You are not sarcastic. No. You Linda are a TIPICAL hater.
You have found yourself in this dank, poor, afflicted country without clear understanding why you are here. You have not got good family relationships in your life. You are horny too long time. You are in the age when women usually think about their life gist, however you do not find your life to be in harmony. Hence, you unconsciously feel yourself like a looser. Consequantly, you have negative emotions. Because of your narrow thinking and hypocrisy you do not want to see the real reason of your confusion. Instead, you tend to look for anything around you as an excuse why your life has been standstilled. So, you are selectively looking for any rummy thing in your neighbourhood to excuse your inner hate and looser feeling. Thus far it is in some way normal behaviour of lost people. However, you Linda go rather different way. And this is a way to become a hater… You do not hesitate to describe Latvia and Latvians in the most unpleasant manner. You pretend to describe anything in Latvia, however you do it through the prism of your inner hate and looser feeling. That’s miserably. Your lies about Latvia are miserable.
You horny Linda would rather go back to Ireland and try to make a normal family. And DO stop hurting and offencing Latvians. We really do not need haters like you.

Far from being ‘offenced’, I decided to do this:

2014-01-21 21.02.10

And then this:

It's TRUE!

It’s TRUE!

I felt like a prize twat in the t-shirt shop writing ‘HORNY TOO LONG TIME’ on a piece of paper and handing it to the girl. Thankfully, she was Latvian so there was zero reaction. I will also never be going back to the establishment in the photo again.

A massive thank you to everyone who’s been reading, commenting, liking and sharing. And special thanks to the Latvians for not deporting or killing me.

But right now, I’ve got work to do in the shape of polishing off this celebratory bottle of wine. As the blog is far too young to drink, it looks like I’m on my own with this one…

About BerLinda

Adjusting to life in Germany, after living in Latvia for four years. Should be easy, right?
This entry was posted in Expat, Humor, Humour, Latvia and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

167 Responses to Expat Eye is One!

  1. Happy first birthday, Linda’s blog! Hope you liked your T-shirt birthday present! When you grow up you can have some wine, too (although I’d steer clear of the Grandpa cock until you’re actually Grandma age).

  2. May you keep finding rummy things in your neighbourhood to blog about!

  3. Aussa Lorens says:

    Oh man. You need to open an Etsy shop and sell those to all of your readers, that is freakin’ hilarious. You Linda looser with the miserably thoughts. Happy Bloggiversary!

  4. Jazeps2 says:

    If You want to be Tru-Lat, then you need to bookmark draugiem.lv on your laptop browser bookmark bar… I hope, that You’re using draugiem.lv. Are yo?

  5. You really did it! You made the tshirt! You are so hilarious and awesome. I wonder what the world would be like if you and Aussa teamed up. 🙂

  6. Daina says:

    Congrats!!! You might need to start selling that t-shirt…Iooks like there might be a market for it. 😉

  7. bmagpub says:

    Just read your anniversary post – thanks for the chuckle. I suppose some people just don’t learn that if you don’t like, don’t read! Sounds like I am going to have a lot of chuckles in the coming years – and a bit of catching up. Long may you continue. Love the shirt. And now you have a follower in New Zealand – next stop Antarctica! Happy birthday.

    • Expat Eye says:

      Hurrah! I spent a year in NZ and had a great time 😉 Yeah, I keep telling people if they don’t like it don’t read it, but they just don’t listen! 🙂

  8. Happy blirthday 😀 😀 😀 Keep blogging!

  9. pollyheath says:

    HATERS GONNA HATE!

    Happy birthday, your first picture just screams “slightly depressed Latvian celebration” to me.

    • Expat Eye says:

      Ha, yes, to me too! I was wondering if anyone else would notice that but the t-shirt pic seems to have attracted most of the attention! 🙂

  10. feliz cumpleaños – celebrate with several drinks but don’t get killed or anything.

  11. Anna says:

    Are one-year-olds allowed to be so sexy? Oh shit. If you never hear from me again, at least we’ll know it’s bc your blog provoked – PROVOKED, I SAY! – me to saying crazy inappropriate things again 😛

    Congrats for real though. I will now go and cry for never living up to your readership numbers 🙂

  12. Congrats, Linda. It was indeed a very interesting and highly enjoyable year reading your blog. You are yet to fail me in delivering some extra saucy laughter filled pieces, so go figure and keep on bringing the fun 🙂
    I just wish for some sort of warning system in place, as this time round I like for the n-th time since I’ve discovered EE ended up laughing out loud. And while laughing out loud is generally a good thing, like good for one’s health, vitamin C levels, etc., this time round I happened to be drinking my cup of tea, and managed to choke on it with all the laughter escaping me on ‘latvian grandpa…’ Luckily I’m well and sound, so will be there for you and EE for the years to come 😀

  13. Happy birthday! Let me know when you change your stance on married men 😉

  14. Happy Blog Birthday! Ha and I love that shirt!

  15. linnetmoss says:

    Horny Linda, congratulations and thanks for making me laugh my arse off multiple times. (I didn’t know such a thing was possible.) Solaris seems to have …em… put his finger on the problem.

  16. barbedwords says:

    Congratulations! Maybe you should share your wine with Janis? Or would you need a lot more wine??

  17. 1WriteWay says:

    Happy Anniversary! I think you could write about anything and people would flock to your blog 🙂

  18. Nene says:

    Oh good God! I want that t-shirt! Congratulations on your first anniversary, may there be many more to come! 🙂

  19. Congratulations! And you should totally sell those t-shirts… maybe that would stop your life from being so standstilled and prevent you from looking for rummy things in your neighbourhood…

  20. aalksnuz says:

    Happy birthday to Your blog! Yes, sometimes Your posts look offensive and one- sided, but then I remember, what some people say: “Listen to Your opponents, they will tell You a truth rather than Your friends” 😉

  21. Karolyn Cooper says:

    It has been an entertaining year, and that Tshirt is brilliant.

  22. I want a t-shirt like that haha!

  23. nancytex2013 says:

    Look, while you may be a tipical hater, you have a poison vagina. That trumps tipical hater every time.

    Happy bloggy birthday gorgeous!

    ps I want that t-shirt.

  24. freebutfun says:

    Too horny and grandpa cocks in the same post…hm… ??!! Congrats, keep it going and enjoy all the love and comments pouring to you!

    • Expat Eye says:

      There will probably be some even weirder search terms after this post, you’re right 😉 I discovered last night that I’m also number 1 on Google if you search for ‘Latvian women are crazy’ and ‘Latvian men are weird’ 🙂

  25. M.E. Evans says:

    I’ve been bogged down with my job but I’ve been meaning to make a video of some of my favorite comments from last year. There are some real winners among them. 🙂

  26. M.E. Evans says:

    I laughed out loud reading this! Great post! Hilarious and I love the shirt!

  27. M.E. Evans says:

    So good! I love it! I’m so glad you made a T-Shirt out of his brilliant comment.

  28. eNVee says:

    Congrats Linda, may your adventures continue!

  29. Well done, Linda on the blog and t-shirt. Latvians could use some of your humor!
    Keep on writing and I’ll keep reading! Cheers!

  30. JF Owen says:

    After putting some thought into the matter, I’m pretty sure that it isn’t possible to be “horny too long time.” The alternative would be either “horny not much” or “Never horny.” Both of those conditions would be sad.

    Happy Birthday!

  31. Ray says:

    Wow, a year already, congrats 🙂 love the t-shirt, pity it’s freezing outside ;D

  32. Laura says:

    Hurrah! Happy birthday Expat Eye!xx

  33. *Raises glass* Here Here!!

  34. Jude says:

    Holy smokes, a year already!? Congrats love and hi to your mum! Also, is it wrong that I want that shirt? I think you’ve stumbled on a way to make some quick cash here to boot! Extra income if you can get a Janis to sign it!

    • Expat Eye says:

      Ooh, now you’re thinking!

      Yeah, hard to believe isn’t it! I think you were one of the first that I tried my efforts out on! I’m sure it feels like longer than a year to some though 😉

      • Jude says:

        Maybe put the website on the back? You were in advertising so should know what to do but I want!

        And yes I was def there in the early days when I would get an email before it even got posted. Honoured to have known you that long!

      • Expat Eye says:

        Back in the day, eh?! I still remember when we first met 😉 That guy was sorry he met us 😉

      • Jude says:

        Hahah to be fair I think we had met before (remember we hated each other at first) until that dipshit got blasted with the I am woman, hear me roar moment! In conclusion, of I wasn’t horny too long tome we may never have become friends!

      • Expat Eye says:

        I should get ‘I am woman, hear me roar’ on the back 😉

  35. lafemmet says:

    The shirt!! Ah that is a bit of classic art! and the spelling in that hater letter is awesome. My favs were TIPICAL (Especially love that it was capitalized so it stuck out like a hard dick) and offencing. You are my hero and I enjoy reading every single post!! Bring on more adventures of baking with wine and beers and Janis’ of course! Wishing you a good healthy relationship to bring an end to the long time problem! or at least a really good vibrator!

  36. LOLOLOL! You should sell that T-shirt, you’d make a killing 😉
    People who think it’s spelled “looser” should be tarred and feathered and chased down the dog-shit-splattered lanes of Riga.

  37. My first comment disappeared! Anyway, congratulations! You are definitely a rockstar! 🙂

  38. rigaenglish says:

    Big congrats! For a tipical looser who is horny too long time, you’ve done a great job, though part of me is still awaiting upcoming posts with some trepidation, for some reason….

  39. You are a rockstar! Congrats Linda!

  40. Annie says:

    Congratulations! Huzzah! I can’t even get through that guys post because all I see are screaming misspelled words.. idiot. If anyone can pull off that shirt, it’s you. wait, I meant that in a nice way.

  41. Jack says:

    Happy 1 year. I should have made a cake for your blog.

    Looking forward to one more year. 🙂

  42. Mr Kev says:

    Congrats dude! Keep it coming. It brightens my day to learn about the positive normality of living in PL, relative to the bat-shit-craziness of living in LV! 😛

  43. Antuanete says:

    Congrats! And that T-shirt is really cool! I hope you are not wearing it to stag-occupied Old Riga bars, though, at least if you aren’t in really adventuruos mood 🙂

  44. Happy Blog Birthday ‘horny Linda’!

  45. Ha … as always, I love it !

  46. Lāsma says:

    Aww, congrats! 🙂
    Your posts are super funny and you’re an awesome friend so there are at least two reasons to love this blog. 😉

  47. Open a webshop, and I will buy a t-shirt.

  48. RuncZ says:

    Congratulations. 🙂
    Very nice move with the t-shirt and pictures. I actually laughed out loud about that 😀

    I’d rather invite you to dinner than deport you, but I’m one of the shy and quiet latvians, so we would have trouble to keep the conversation going…

    • Expat Eye says:

      I’m kind of chatty so you’d probably be OK. You might want to deport me after trying to get a word in for a couple of hours though 😉 At least I’d have to pause every now and then to eat! 🙂

  49. bevchen says:

    Happy Blogaversary! And hello Linda’s mam.

    You actually got a “horny too long time” T-shirt! You’re officially my new hero.

  50. June says:

    Congratulations, Linda – you really have had such an incredible year. I dream of those sort of stats! If you feel like sending a few readers my way (the “Lithuania Lover” to your “Latvia Hater”), feel free! I too, am horny too long time. But I’m ok with that – long may it last!!! (Can I borrow your t-shirt?!)

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