I promised myself that when Expat Eye hit 200,000 views, I’d do one final search term review – y’know, try to answer all the weird and wonderful search engine queries that bring people from all over the world to my little blog.
So, let’s start with the ‘weird’:
virile loud farts
Sorry, I’d like to oblige but I can’t embed sound files.
my life with knickers
I don’t know why, but I’d buy that book.
get a good look at my knickers? did you?
Depends on how short your skirt was, but I’m going to say ‘no’ because you sound scary.
how to pee
Really? You can type and use search engines but you haven’t figured out how to pee yet? Sometimes I despair.
when a sperm get into the eye
I’d be more worried about it getting into other places but that’s just me.
stories of mistresses putting frozen semen in their males a******
Umm. Once upon a time, there was a mistress who put… But hang on, why are you searching for this but too shy to type the word ‘asshole’ in full?
Moving on to the wonderful:
best irish butt
What? Moi? (Blushes)
linda the latvian hater
OK, I know this isn’t really wonderful, but I kind of think it makes me sound like a super-hero. Sue me.
And finally, the Latvian:
sex cats latvija
Maybe this one should have gone into ‘the weird’…
what does it look like in latvia
i am latvian and i am living in istanbul
Good for you?
latvia is known by what name now
I think you just answered your own question.
nude latvian men
I don’t have any nude photos of Latvian men (that I want to share), so you’ll have to make do with a Finn in rather revealing leopard print instead.
latvian boyfriend cheated on me
Yeah, we’ve got plenty of those.
crazy woman latvia
Plenty of those too.
latvia marriage horror stories
Call me. I’ve got stories that would make your head spin – kind of like Linda Blair in ‘The Exorcist’, but scarier.
why are latvians so rude
why are latvia girls condescending
Because they think they’re better than you.
why are latvian women rude to other women
Because they think they’re better than you AND you’re after their man.
hate latvia/i hate latvia/latvians are idiots/i hate living in latvia/latvia is miserable/latvians are rude/stupid latvians/latvia country of idiots/latvian people stupid and introverted…
Now, now, play nice!
make a girlfriend in riga now
I’m not sure you really want that.
latvian girls for marriage is good
Fine. If you insist. BUT, before you run off to buy that ring, buy a lemon first. Ask your Latvian lady friend to suck on it for a bit. Take a good look at that facial expression and ask yourself if that’s the face you want staring back at you for the rest of your life.
And one last one so everyone can play along:
(Insert answers below)