For the love of Latvian men

The other day, I received an interesting message. It was from a Scandinavian girl wondering what it’s like to date a Latvian man. Now, I get messages all the time from men asking about Latvian women. These conversations generally go like this. 

Sucker: I’ve met the most…

Me: NO. 

Sucker: But she’s so…

Me: NO. 

Sucker: But shouldn’t I just…

Me: NO. 

But this message actually made me think, as my feelings about Latvian men are really quite conflicted. As far as my personal experience goes, I’ve run the gamut. My first Latvian love interest was a raging alcoholic. We had a volatile on-again-off-again ‘relationship’ for a couple of months, the high point of which was him calling me and telling me to look out my window. (We lived opposite each other.)

Me: Are you naked?

LLI: Yep.

Me: Is that a pineapple?

LLI: Yep.

Me: Why are you dancing around with it?

LLI: For you. 

Me: Oh. Well, just be careful if you’re chopping it up later. 

While I knew there was a great guy in there somewhere, he just wasn’t confident enough to believe it. We didn’t last.  

Most recently, there was Yummy Jānis – sweet, kind, affectionate, funny, smart – and a dream in the kitchen. Unfortunately, the timing was off but I’m sure he’ll make some girl very happy some day. 

Latvian men, in general, have an odious reputation. And sadly, in a lot of cases, they’ve earned it. They’re lazy, they’re cheaters, they’re alcoholics. In an article from The Baltic Times, Latvian men are described thus: “Local men do not want to work or to help with housework. Women can rely only on themselves, and mostly they make all the decisions themselves, even if it is connected with some men’s work.”

Poor, poor, tragically beautiful Latvian women! Maybe some foreign men should come and…

NO.

Did anyone ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, the emasculating, ball-busting women in this country should shoulder some of the blame? OK, so people like to blame it on ‘history’, and perhaps some of it can be. But think about it – why is a guy in his early thirties cheating on his wife? Is it because of something that befell his grandparents or is it because he gets roughly the same amount of love and respect in his own home as the pet goldfish – possibly less.

DENIED

                              DENIED

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for strong women – I like to think I am one – I just think that it’s possible to be a strong woman without castrating every man that crosses your path. 

Here’s what the Latvian Institute has to say on the matter:

Women play an especially important role in Latvian society. In the family, it is the woman who binds the family together and passes on family traditions. In Latvia today, women have assumed leading roles in society, among other things the previous state president was a woman. Latvian men, however, take pride in the fact that Latvian women are not only smart and caring, but also extremely beautiful. 

Correct me if I’m wrong, but that doesn’t sound like much of a life, does it?

Jānis: Hey honey, I think I’m done admiring you for the day. Is there anything else I can do?

Laimdota: Oh, what’s the point. You’re useless. You never do anything right. 

But don’t assume that because you’re useless, you’ll be allowed to roam freely. Hell no. These women are controlling and possessive to the point of insanity. 

I promise to obey, obey and OBEY you.

I promise to obey, obey and OBEY you ’til death do us part.

Grown men are actually ‘not allowed’ to do stuff here. Or if they are, there’s a good chance they’ll either be stalked or receive so many calls and texts that they’ll decide it wasn’t really worth going out in the first place. One friend of mine used to call his wife ‘The Eye of Sauron’ – but that was back when he had a sense of humour, before the nervous breakdown…

And if you’re thinking that Latvian men are a bit weak and pathetic for putting up with this, fear not – I know plenty of foreign men that have married Latvian ‘beauties’ and ended up drooling husks of their former selves. In my bleaker moments, I’ve considered setting up a National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Husbands, but then, they probably wouldn’t be let out of the house to attend meetings. 

I've even got a uniform picked out.

      I’ve even got a uniform picked out.

The problem with Latvian women, if I may be so bold, is that they believe their own hype – this ridiculous notion that, somehow, they are god’s gift to men. So what, because you know how to slap on an inch of make-up and a short skirt it gives you the right to treat men like crap? Wake up. I’ve been observing the dynamic between couples here over the last couple of days (more closely than usual). The women, in 98% of cases, look bored and sulky. Profferred flowers and trinkets are met with a self-satisfied smirk rather than an appreciative grin. Why any man would bother is beyond me. 

I don’t think Latvian men, any more than any other nationality, get married with the intention of someday becoming cheating alcoholics. Think of that sweet-faced young boy who gave you flowers when you first started dating; blushing, shuffling, and looking at you like you were the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen. Look at him now. Something must have happened along the way. And maybe you, Latvian woman, should take a good look in the mirror – you definitely know where it is – before judging the men in this country. In fact, perhaps the reason Latvian men die younger is simply because they want to. They’ve run out of other excuses to get out of the house and this is their last stand…

But back to the original question – should you date a Latvian man? I don’t know. But if you do, treat him the way you’d like to be treated. He may surprise you. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About BerLinda

Adjusting to life in Germany, after living in Latvia for four years. Should be easy, right?
This entry was posted in Expat, Humor, Humour, Latvia, Latvian men, Latvian women, Love and Relationships, Social Issues and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

173 Responses to For the love of Latvian men

  1. required says:

    Linda,

    I cant understand how person in so respective age can be so jealous like 5 years old?!
    And how you can`t become exhausted to write one after another blogs about your antipathies on latvian woman?
    I probably understand you if you could show something instead, but unfortunately you have nothing special, you are also less then average, grey everyday person with even not attractive look as well.
    But it is not surprise anyway. Wish you to find boyfriend or husband, maybe it will change you to much better person.

    P.S. sorry for my english, hope you understand.

    Regards,

    Andrejs
    happy latvian man, husband and father as well

    • Expat Eye says:

      Oh boo hoo, a Latvian man doesn’t find me attractive. Whatever will I do?
      And yes, of course you’re right. If I had a husband or boyfriend, I would lose the ability to see and think. What a moronic argument.

  2. Mehere says:

    Everybody has two nations in their heart. First is the place you were born and Second is the nation we adopt from heart. But in Latvia…. exists a 3rd kind of nation, the nation that the local ones push you sooooo hard to love. The coolest thing about a foreigner is when he keeps a big percent of who he really is, his essence. There is a level of adaption anyone would take to survive and get along in a new culture or new territory. But there is a point where it turns so disgusting and disappointing when a foreign person has lost himself and had became what his wife told him to become 😀
    Regarding the topic of, how Latvian woman can be so jealous, possessive and so on, as an example I know a few Mexican guys living in Latvia but one of them is already super Latvian, and all of the stereotypes you can call about Latvians are suiting perfectly on him because he turned more Latvian than Latvians and he is inviting other people to forget about their natural ways to become a zombie like him who has been ordered even how much to smile, how not to smile, the poor idiot needs permission from his wife even to meet other people, if to meet a “female” for business purposes he needs to bring his wife or he can’t attend the meeting, and about meeting males, he can meet only who his wife would authorise. What a shame 😀

    • Expat Eye says:

      Jesus! I think he’s worse than any of the guys I know! I know a Mexican guy here, but he’s married to a Ukrainian girl – couldn’t be more different from the guy you describe!

      • Mehere says:

        Those two mexicans are the complete opposite extreme to each other 😀
        As how you described once, it is always divided into two kinds people from every nation who arrives to LV. The transformers and the authentics.
        By the way, that guy doesn’t have permission from his wife to have a beer with me 😀
        He already added an extra “S” to his name…
        Thing that I will never do 😉

      • Expat Eye says:

        Ha ha! Meheres 😉 Kind of catchy 😉
        Sounds like you’re not missing out on much by not seeing that guy!

  3. wasd says:

    I have a theory that we could produce free energy on the never ending and self inducing Latvian women toughts about everything. If I would develop that kind of machine, we would be free of energy cost.

    As a member of Latvian men society, I could share some thoughts from my tiny experience so far.

    I was reading your post and couldnt agree more, because said things ties up really close to my experience. (I will use word Men mostly as my opinion, but it may differ greatly from others)

    “Men do not support women in daly activities around the house” – Its mostly because Men have mind of their own, and a lot of stuff would have been done if there wouldnt been so much commanding from their significant other. It starts with little aspects of daily life, like wat we will eat today, what we need from the mall. What do we want to do in weekend ect. Women like suprises a lot, but the problem is of their controlling behaviour, they like to take too much of a control over situations on daily basis. She has all figured it out its like. At first you like this interaction and you may offer your oppinion to her, but over time you understand that in most cases this opinion makes her angry or sad, because she holds all the answers of the conversation and that means again, everything is under controll.

    For men this activity is really depleeting, and if this happens daily after work, it does not make you feel any better. And men start to participate less and let the women plan their life because of the same reason.

    For me, I mostly try to keep it simple and defined. I explain why I dont participate and help to decide on dinner or other from my opinion unsignificant stuff that she have it all figured out already, and she needs my support only for opinions and discussion.
    Ofcourse you have to know when your SO is so depleeted after heavy work day, and you must take the lead on decitions, to help her out. I have learned that those are the moments when they apriciate our actions most.

    Hope all this made some sence. In the end all i could say is that our women like perfections, and they think that everything will be perfect only under their controll, and heavy micromanagement of things they like Men included. That is the reason it makes really hard and exhausting even simplest actions like morning breakfast in the bed or friends birthday. They are so stressed out about controll that barely let the life happen around them.
    All they need is some strong man action on their behalf, or gentle but strict “Darling take it easy” speach will make them relax atleast for a moment until next problems and situations scream for management.
    Ofcourse never let your man guard down, you must recognize women patterns of situations, when they are putting you into labirint with all the exits on their hands – “Is this dress making me fat” from totaly serious talks when they really need your strong man spine and support. Its like defusing everchanging bomb, you will know only in the last seconds.

    • Expat Eye says:

      I think I came up with this energy-creating idea before – we should go into business together 😉 I might even let you have a say!

      • rower says:

        add management and maintenance costs, and the idea in the moment is getting less cheap 🙂 on the other hand – this is a perpetuum mobile of fourth type — one can always fuss about fuss. just it’s a no-go for really happy families – where each of family members gives his share to make other happy. as soon, as you notice that you best second half is exhausted, you just pick up where he/she has left or just back up the action. perfect harmony, i think.

      • Expat Eye says:

        That’s the way it should be! 🙂

      • rower says:

        ahha, that’s one of things, that everyone seems to understand by head, however not by heart. 😦 and even while they say that they understand, most act in completely weird way… common sense is not that common after all.

  4. ScandiLat says:

    Thanks for this insight 😉 I figured I’d send you a proper [rant] e-mail instead of taking up too much space in the comments section…

  5. I don’t know much about Latvian men. Strike that, I don’t know anything about Latvian men or women, but rock on sister!

  6. Baiba says:

    Just thinking – could that be, that most of your friends here in Latvia are men? Because this point of view, expressed in this post, seems a bit one-sided. Like gained during many conversations, when all these men are having a cry on your shoulder, complaining about their wives. I still don’t get it, why would a sane person stay married to a woman, who is been called the Eye of Sauron behind her back.

    • Expat Eye says:

      It was complicated – she used the kids against him.
      I guess most of my foreign friends here are men – simply by virtue of the fact that not that many women move to (North)Eastern Europe 😉 I’ve seen off most of them over the course of 4 years haha! I have some local female friends – they’re mostly sane, thank god 😉

  7. NancyTex says:

    Pineapple man sounds like a scream. I’m sad you didn’t work things out with him. 😦

  8. Kris says:

    Sometimes i really wonder are you really in Latvia ? I am a Latvian, i don’t wear short skirts or make up.I let my husband to go to pubs whenever he wants, it means i can go out whenever i want,it’s just a common sense to honour each others wishes and let them be! Let each other breathe and enjoy life ! It’s a pity you haven’t been too lucky with Latvians ! By the way there are loads of Irish bimbos with face orange from make-up that drive their men demented and don’t let them out of the house.And have you seen fashion lately in Ireland ? My jaw drops how the girls dress here. Bum cheeks are falling out of their so called skirts or shorts.There are different people everywhere. And you are just unlucky not to have met good ones in Latvia.And as for cheating – there is a lot of that going on in Ireland too!Hope you are luckier in Germany!

    • Expat Eye says:

      Yeah, me too 😉 I’m a bit out of touch with fashion trends in Ireland, but there are a fair few arses falling out of shorts going around here too – I have to close my eyes sometimes cos I really don’t need to see that much 😉 I’ve met plenty of good people – if you can leave aside the cheating aspect. You kind of have to or you’d have no friends 😉

    • Nerdator says:

      I wonder what’s this big hang-up about mini-skirts, short shorts and bottoms of bottoms getting a bit of fresh air.

      It’s fine, and I’m not saying this in a leery way, or anything. How is it bad to wear if it is practical (and at +34, it is) and makes you feel good about the way you look? And if you’re a bit of an exhibitionist, I’d say, it’s a reasonable and innocent way to express yourself.

      I don’t think that holding something against this and at the same time complaining about the legendary Feminine Death Stare of Latvia is something that you can do unironically. 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        I walked past a couple of girls chatting yesterday. One of them actually stopped talking so she could stare at me properly. I put it down to the fact that I’m so stunning 😉
        And you’re right – it’s HOT out there today!

      • Nerdator says:

        Well, stopping your conversation when someone passes by and waiting till they’re out of the earshot is almost a national past-time. It doesn’t usually involve death stares, so you may feel special if you do get them. 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        I feel special here every day 🙂

  9. Packing my Suitcase says:

    hahaha good one! I think the German women are going in the same direction, maybe thats why my German husband decided to marry a foreigner 😀

  10. M.E. Evans says:

    I actually think that things like this run deeper than we can realize as expats. When I first moved to Italy I thought that Italian women were INSANE. Dominating, mean, strict, stalkerish, and absolutely nuts when it came to the men in their lives. It took me about four years to really understand the dynamic (which I could only see once I married into a family because otherwise people have their faces and you don’t see the reality behind closed doors). Italian culture allows women to be bossy, hot, jealous, but it doesn’t allow them to do anything else. Women are not raised to be career-oriented, smart, or heard and they are given a freakish amount of responsibility. In fact, so much that by the time they are 35, with the cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, working (or not working) they are so fed up and bitter they want to castrate and murder their lazy ass husbands who don’t do anything aside from work outside of the home. They don’t help with kids, they don’t clean, they rarely cook. The women are praised for their beauty though, so it’s the only thing they have, and it’s what they cling to. They’re also not respected as anything more than a nice pair of tits and a great ass, so the only way they are heard is with tantrums, screaming, and jealous outbursts. Since every country is patriarchal, its safe to assume that men have created the standards for both sexes.

  11. andrisbb says:

    “Here, most people seem to be in relationships for the sake of being in a relationship – it doesn’t seem to matter who with.”
    Yep, this is almost right. Many of my friends live together just because it is cheaper, that is economic reality. Almost all of them time by time cheat on each other with people who they actually like (at least at that moment). Some do it more, some less and I cannot see any problem with that. If it makes they lives more interesting, then why not? I am single so I can look at this thing more relaxed. Maybe I’m too young (just 30) to understand Your concerns about that.

    • Expat Eye says:

      If both people know about it and are happy to be in an open relationship, then cool. If not, I have a problem with it 😉

      • andrisbb says:

        If both people know about it, then it is not cheating anymore 😀 so what the point then?

      • Expat Eye says:

        Exactly 🙂 Then they’re together purely for financial reasons, nothing romantic about it. As long as both parties are aware of that (and one doesn’t think it’s the real thing), then they can have at as many other people as they like 😉

      • andrisbb says:

        I can see that You do not understand typical latvian man logic. We do not live with somebody who we do not like at all or never had something romantic in the past. We probably will pick best we can get, to show up for friends. But, there is always some more interesting alternatives around and if there is any “safe” chance to cheat, then typical latvian man will use this chance. And that is how it is, at leat I know only some people who never cheated or they hiding very well. 😀
        If You are looking for 100% loyal men, then this is not a right place 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        Yeah, I figured that out a long time ago! But there are still a couple of good ones 🙂 Actually, there must be more than that, surely, on the law of averages!! Maybe they’re hiding too 😉

    • CrazyCatLady says:

      Three letters spring to mind. S.T.D.

  12. Gunta says:

    Blame the mothers. These girls who now give you death stares then become mothers and teach their sons to hate all women 🙂
    What annoyed me the most about latvian men was their constant sarcastic and busting balls attitude. I just don’t get it – who talks to people like that all the time?

    • Expat Eye says:

      I got in trouble for blaming the mothers before 😉
      I don’t think I’ve ever met a sarcastic Latvian! Oh, maybe one.

    • Emmi says:

      sorry to pitch in but blaming the parents for your own flaws is ridicoulous. by the time you turn 20-25 most men and women have enough life experience to know what is wrong and what is right and if they continue to act stupid its their own fault nobody else`s. plus arent we supposed to be better parents with each generation? my grandma for example did not allow my mom to study and instead arranged a very short term tertiary education for her after which the family pressured her to marry my dad (and that happened in Austria only 30 years ago!). my mom learned from her mothers mistake and provided me with enough education to get a PHD so I am single at 30 and very educated =))) when I have my own kids I ll tr to be a better mom than her and correct her mistakes when raising my own kids. isnt that how its supposed to be? we cant possibly be going backwards in evolution and always blame it on the moms!

  13. Finally!!! The truth has been told! Thanks Expat Eye!

  14. bevchen says:

    Oh dear, you’ve surpassed yourself this time. I think you secretly want to be chased out of Latvia when the time comes 😉

    The man with the pineapple though… priceless!!

    • Expat Eye says:

      Ha ha, yeah, it was pretty funny 😉 Well, in as much as you’re allowed to laugh at an alcoholic…
      I’m hoping the women can’t run that fast in heels 😉

  15. linnetmoss says:

    A nation of screeching viragoes and shrinking milquetoasts… not a pretty picture!

  16. Diana says:

    I agree with some of the others here…..I believe that we each make our own choices in life and also have a choice in how we deal with those decisions. So…if you messed up and married the wrong woman, and life is that miserable, just get out. But I think it is human nature to be lazy about making the difficult decisions and easier just to stick around, then cheat or drink or whatever. There is not a drinking problem in Italy – – but for sure a cheating problem….for both men AND women. These people are unhappy with their partners, but it is just easier to put on the “happy couple” face, then go and cheat. Sad, but true.

    • Expat Eye says:

      Of the men I know, several have made an attempt to leave. It’s more complicated when kids are involved – and these women are willing to use them. Threatening the husband with never being allowed to see them again (totally illegal, of course), calling in the middle of the night to say one of the kids has been rushed to hospital (then hanging up without saying which hospital because he’d know if he was at home), calling and texting non-stop to say how much the kids are crying because they miss their daddy – in reality, the kids are asleep or out playing. Believe me, it gets NASTY.

      • Diana says:

        Yes….You know…I thought about that after I wrote my comment…..because it is always easy to just say: “leave.” – – but typically there are kids involved, which will make things very difficult. In American, usually unhappy men or women do just leave….but immediately marry other people…so back home we have a ton of mixed up families. Here, there are a bunch of cheaters!

      • Expat Eye says:

        And god knows who’s actually the daddy half the time! We’ll have a world of people growing up and marrying their half-brothers and sisters 😉 There are several guys here I’d advise to get a DNA test done… 😉

      • Diana says:

        you are – – as always – – funny, funny…marrying your half-brother….ha, ha, ha….

      • Expat Eye says:

        Could be (subconsciously) why you married an Italian – you were worried about the Texan gene pool 😉

      • Diana says:

        ha ha, ha, ha!!! yes…had to run to the other side of the pond to find a man. Now that I think about it, my older sis married a guy from California, and younger sis married a guy from London……hmmmm….you might be on to something! 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        Smart girls 🙂

  17. I’m looking into the apartment across the courtyard right now. There is a guy playing a horn in his boxer shorts. What else can I say? 😛

  18. philly89 says:

    Another great post!

    Just realised I’m on your blogs I follow list, thank you so much!

    I need to do the same!

  19. Cassandra says:

    I’m still caught up on that story about the pineapple-dancing man. I obviously need to read some stories from the blog archive!!

  20. Oh, this time I 100% disagree. “It’s women fault” again another excuse for doing nothing, drinking beer every evening, bitching, and becoming miserable piece of walking dead meat. I know so many couples with great variety of wife’s attitudes and the same type of husband. Loving and caring wife – lazy, drinking, cheating husband, dominant, oppressing, angry wife – lazy, drinking, cheating husband, submissive, stupid, helpless wife – lazy, drinking, cheating husband, strong, ambitious, smart wife – lazy, drinking, cheating husband. And everyone of them dudes asked about the reason of such a lifestyle blamed it all on wives. You know what happens after they divorce and find a women of different type? Nothing – they stay lazy, drinking, cheating and ignorant. Asked if it is wife’s fault again they scratch their head and say – it must be a nature of men, genetics, bad circumstances, consequences of occupation and so on.
    Masculinity is something partially given you by parents and partially gained by yourself. No one else can give it to you or take it away. A woman can’t take away something that her man never had. Actually in modern times of gender equality surprisingly it’s still a man who leads. It’s a man who asks for a dance, offers a drink, a man who reaches for a first kiss, a man who does man’s work without asking permission and a man decides how he’ll treat his woman and what treatment to accept from her only with one if… If he has a tiny bit of confidence, courage and self-respect.
    Speaking about women. I’ve met ladies of the kind you’ve described in this post. And you know me – I’m sort of kind, calm and polite person. But when a lady started treating me as you’ve described it took just two sentences to handle the situation: “Woman shuthefucup or bacdafucup! Stop sweating me or daddy will slap ya.” Calm but confident. And you know – surprisingly she shut up and calmed or slammed a door and left forever. And I didn’t get castrated in both situations. As I’ve said – it takes just a tiny bit of a man to stay a man.
    So in my opinion it’s 100% on a man. If he allows bad treatment then it’s what he earns. If he’s lazy, drunk, cheating and spineless it’s 100% his fault. It’s man who decides what kind of life he lives and what kind of treatment he receives.
    And by the way few lines from your post touched me very deep and made me smile. There is a way how in my opinion really extraordinary, beautiful and intelligent lady should be treated, ya know… 🙂

    • Expat Eye says:

      Seems a bit inappropriate after that nice comment but just for old times’ sake 😉

      Beyonce’s HERE!

    • Antuanete says:

      Thank you for this response, I was going to write something along the same lines, but you have done it better. I really wonder that Linda is riding this woman-blaming horse, actually it’s something what aforementioned lazy, cheating beer-drinking Latvian men love to do, because THEY are not to be blamed for their actions, never. And, as I have noticed, some Latvian woman love to join this chant, because “MY husband is not like that, because I’M better than other women and treat him right” – well, maybe you were clever when choosing him, not another of your crushes who had tendency to drink too much, but what makes you think that you can MAKE other person to be or no to be something?
      Of course, I wholeheartedly agree that we should treat other persons like we would like to be treated ourselves, but that applies to all human interactions, doesn’t it?

      • Expat Eye says:

        Very true! Would be nice if it happened 🙂
        OK, while you can’t MAKE someone drink, you can break them through years of emotional neglect and abuse. Off the top of my head, I can think of men of six nationalities married to Latvian women. They’re different ages, of different income levels, different educational backgrounds, etc, etc. The only thing they all have in common is that they’re married to Latvian women and they’re miserable. The Latvians choose to hit the bottle, others hit therapy, others still hit the airport, never to return. But maybe it’s just coincidence 😉

    • Nerdator says:

      Actually in modern times of gender equality surprisingly it’s still a man who leads. It’s a man who asks for a dance, offers a drink, a man who reaches for a first kiss, a man who does man’s work without asking permission and a man decides how he’ll treat his woman and what treatment to accept from her only with one if… If he has a tiny bit of confidence, courage and self-respect.

      I’m sorry, there is no gender equality, not in Latvia, not even close. People are still stuck into pretty tight gender role boxes and are punished for not doing what they ‘are supposed to’ and wanting what they aren’t. So you get loads of men, who are ‘supposed to’ the big leaders and members of the ruling gender nobility all the time (with all the privileges and taboos), and women, who are ‘supposed to’ think that no matter what they do, the only thing they’ll ever be good at and happy about is being a wifey and a baby mama. Needless to say that when these elephantine bollocks clash with reality, you get unhappiness, bitterness, drug abuse, what have you.

      And no, ‘it’s still a man who [presumably, always: there’s nothing wrong in men taking the lead per se] leads, [etc. etc.]’ is not an argument that says ‘there is something lacking in gender equality’. It’s an argument that says ‘there is no gender equality yet’. This is not a given.

      I wouldn’t say that we’re the worst in this respect, and in the current state we’d look fairly progressive maybe forty years ago (thank the people who created the Soviet Union for that), or even earlier, but we’re far backwards now. And the fact that we are still flooded with conservatism (Nordic country, my arse) isn’t helping either.

      • Expat Eye says:

        Yeah, it’s about as unNordic as you can get really! Thanks for jumping into the fray, Nerdator! 🙂

      • Actually I see no conflict in treating women as equal beings but still acting like man. Nowadays no one is asking you to kill them dragons, build a house or pay them parents 20 sheep and 3 camels for a bride. Just them symbolic details as opening doors, passing a coat and keeping word. Ain’t big deal for me. And screw them conservative, stuck in medieval era people. They are dying species. Even in Latvia. Just a matter of time.
        P.S. Actually founders of Soviet Union were building a country of total equality including gender equality. Thanks to activists like Clara Zetkin and Nadezhda Krupskaya sexual revolution in Soviet Russia took place long before the same thing hit USA. But then some day comrade Stalin became the most equal among equal and brought that eastern woman’s role from mother Georgia to our grandmas.

      • Nerdator says:

        I see no conflict in treating women as equal beings but still acting like man. Nowadays no one is asking you to kill them dragons, build a house or pay them parents 20 sheep and 3 camels for a bride. Just them symbolic details as opening doors, passing a coat and keeping word. Ain’t big deal for me.

        No, courtesy and honesty is not ‘being a man’. That’s being a decent human being.

        And it goes without saying that if in ‘opening doors and passing coats’ you single out just women, and especially (semi-)random women without caring for what they think about it, you’re being a bit of an anagram for ‘rase’. Chivalry is not courtesy. Ask a serf: they know.

        Regarding the Soviet bit. That’s exactly what I meant. The Soviet Union was created by very progressive people, And it introduced political rights, and access to education for all women, and social security aimed at women’s issues, and even tried to break down ‘the kitchen slavery’. What it achieved in this respect was absolutely great for 1920–30’s.

        The problem, as you say, is that with Stalin and WW2 it started shifting to the right politically, and started isolating itself more and more. So that, for example, the Zeitgeist of the 1950–60’s and what came later was largely missed in the Soviet Union, and so it stagnated in these issues (and see this gap in other things, like social sciences).

        A shining example to this is the 8 March. Starting as a really cool celebration of (or a demand for) emancipation, social justice and equality – something that I personally would definitely buy a big red flag for – it’s devolved into a lame patriarchal afterthought for St. Valentine’s Day. And when I see the same stupid flowers on Riga’s municipal posters every year, I cringe. Why can’t there be, I don’t know, posters of really admirable women in our society? Women-scientists, women-cops, women-factory workers, women-software engineers, women-politicians? Why is it so hard to think a little, and try to inspire women to fulfil their human potential (on a Women’s Day, no less), and not release the same ‘ole slop that really says ‘hey, don’t forget to buy flowers, or you’ll get nagging at home today, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, know what I mean?’

        So we can be proud (a little) that women can vote and be voted for, that women can own property, that we’ve had a female president and (more importantly) finally have a female prime-minister, that we have 22 female MP’s in the parliament (should be more, but it could be none). What we can’t be proud of is that we’re still very unprogressive when it comes to general gender roles and day-to-day social interactions between genders.

        Okay, I think this is turning into an essay, enough for now.

      • Expat Eye says:

        Ha ha! Oh, I’ve tried to have that exact same Women’s Day conversation with some of my female students. They generally just look at me like I’ve got two heads 😉 Or mutter that it’s a shame I don’t have a man to buy me flowers 🙂 I decided that burning my bra in a cafe was probably inappropriate 😉

      • Nerdator says:

        Don’t expect to be understood about it here (or I’d say in most former Soviet/Eastern bloc countries) – it’s really St. Valentine’s 2 now. Few people here know what the holiday really is about.

        And the ‘what’s wrong about flowers? [or are you just jelly, because you don’t get any?]’ argument betrays faulty reasoning. Hey, it’s not about giving flowers (there’s nothing wrong in it, although if I have to give a woman a cliché token gift, I always give a box of choccies, or similar – seems more practical than dead plants to me), it’s about why they are given. And about the fact that it’s much better to remind women that they can get and achieve so much on their own, through their own skills and effort, and not require men to do that for them, than reinforcing regressive stereotypes about the value of women, and also making men complicit in this.

      • Expat Eye says:

        I’ve tried to instill that in any young girl I’ve met here – once they’ve got over the shock that I’m 36 and single 😉 Then I tell them that I have my own business, that I’ve travelled the world… They look at me in a new light 🙂
        And totally agree about the dead plants!

      • Nerdator says:

        Well, hopefully some of it sticks. 🙂

        And have you ever thought of posing for inspirational posters? 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        Ha ha! Nah, I figure I look better without dart holes 😉

      • Nerdator says:

        Hah, knowing what often happens to posters in Riga, I’d say it’s more likely to be graffiti and Hitler moustaches. 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        I’d have to go around trying to turn them into Freddie Mercury moustaches. That could be a lot of work… 😉

      • Nerdator says:

        Well, if you would have to do that, you could pre-emptively put on Freddy’s wig from the ‘I Want to Break Free’ video and take a vacuum cleaner to the photo shoot. 🙂

        Not sure if such posters would remain very inspirational though. 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        And I suck at vacuuming – don’t even own one 🙂

      • Nerdator says:

        Oh well, I guess the women of Riga will have to do without an Irish role model. 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        There’s always the Real Riga guy 😉

      • Nerdator says:

        Real Riga guy? Is it a local trope of sorts? Googling it only returns links here.

      • Nerdator says:

        Oh, alright. Thanks. 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        I think my next post will be on other blogs on Riga/Latvia – so people won’t miss me too much when I’m gone 😉

      • Nerdator says:

        That’d be great: more places at which to be pushed out of patriotic complacency or to lash out indignantly at! 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        Most comments will probably be ‘oh, glad you’re enjoying my country so much’ 😉 Until they dare to say anything negative anyway 😉

      • Nerdator says:

        Oh, let me don my amateur internet psychologist hat and say that part of angry behaviour like this (not entirely unknown to me personally, actually) mimics a situation if you aren’t a big fan of cleaning your flat, but you tidy up for the guests. But when the guests come, and immediately start snooping under the beds and loudly pointing out the dirty dishes lying there, you certainly produce a roar of outrage (knowing perfectly about the dishes) at being reminded about the not-so-pleasant private things and at not being given a cookie for all the effort you’ve made to make the flat look okay, and all the air freshener you’ve sprayed around! 🙂

        Patriotism just makes things worse. It’s like your landlord saying to you constantly that the house that your flat is in is the best in the city, so you must behave accordingly. And that dirty crockery hidden under furniture is a slanderous rumour cacked out by the envious neighbouring houses.

        (Though in all fairness, some such criticism is not well-informed, so (quasi-)polite push-back is sometimes well-deserved.)

      • Expat Eye says:

        Ha ha! Nice analogy 🙂 I have no problem with people disagreeing with me. It’s better if they do it in a semi-coherent way that’s less of a personal attack though. I think I used to try to apologise to those sorts of comments, now they get the smackdown 😉 I still publish everything though. I moderate so it gives me a little time to think about how to respond before other people see it! It is my blog after all 😉

      • Nerdator says:

        Yep, that’s fair. It’s perfectly normal not to want to have comments that are there just to spout anger and/or try to shut you up. And it’s not like bickering has ever solved any disagreements like this.

        I’ve actually checked your earlier posts and seen that you got some unpleasant attention from local online media (in fact, I don’t find Miera Street to be of any note either, there are much cooler-looking places nearby) with the resulting crowds of Youtube-style commenters. I’d definitely introduce the most tyrannical moderation regime ever if I got any. 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        The only comment I didn’t approve was something totally hateful about race and religion, which I just felt was completely irrelevant. I took all of the personal abuse and responded to it – took a while and was a bit soul-destroying, but hey, I bounced back 🙂 I never realised I would be ‘news’ anywhere! After the Kas Jauns thing and so much hate, I said ‘never again’. Then Delfi stole the Miera iela one – f*****s 😉

      • Nerdator says:

        Okay, I hadn’t seen the KasJauns.lv post when I wrote the previous comment (and actually from what I’ve seen on that site, alongside with delfi.lv, the commentariat there is quite xenophobic and reactionary). The outraged comments are quite funny, actually, but there was a different thing that has struck me:

        at the risk of doxxing you in any way, do you actually live anywhere near Avotu Street? 🙂

        Because this ‘bakery’: https://expateyeonlatvia.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/2013-11-30-14-40-03.jpg
        was actually a shoddy café before it moved somewhere else not far away.

        This butcher’s:

        Is pretty good, I buy meat there all the time – because it’s across the road from where I live, the prices are great, the meat is good, and the butcher lady is quite nice.

        I, too, sometimes go to this supermarket for minor stuff (though I prefer Mego a block away, because they have a better vegetable-and-fruit section. You never have enough carrots.):

        I actually like this part of Riga, and the squalor adds to the gritty charm. These areas were populated by workers a century ago, and the old factory buildings are usually just a block away, So when stuff isn’t completely renovated and painted over, you can really feel the history and work of time, if you know what I mean. 🙂

      • Expat Eye says:

        I do live near there 😉 Not giving you the address haha! I prefer Elvi – the women there are nice. I once saw a shop assistant at Mego standing IN the fridge with her shoes on, touching the sausages – I go there for frozen pizzas cos Elvi don’t do them 😉 I have to stand on the stool cos I can’t reach – you might have been one of the poor hapless blokes I had to ask to get one down for me when I couldn’t find the stool 🙂

      • Nerdator says:

        I also like Mego because there are some other things that I like, which aren’t (always) sold in Elvi. But, yes, it’s much older and crappier, and more cramped. And I can agree that the service is better in Elvi (they also have modern credit card terminals, which I quite like).

        And no, I’ve never been asked to pass stool in supermarkets (I’m really sorry, I couldn’t hold this one in. Oh, blast, this is getting worse and worse. :)). Actually since seeing your ‘incendiary’ post, I’ve tried to remember if I’ve ever seen anyone like your avatar picture around – but no, I don’t think I have.

      • Expat Eye says:

        I don’t ask people to pass the stool – I just ask them to take it down for me 😉
        I’m around all the time 🙂 Ever visit 3 Men?

      • Nerdator says:

        Yes, I imagine that asking for furniture for you to stand on is something that you would ask a valet or a butler, not a (hopefully) polite stranger. 🙂

        I actually don’t know what ‘3 men’ is. I am assuming it’s a café/bar, I am quite familiar with this part of the city (I know the types of pedestrian lights at all the crossings on Čaka Street by heart, if that means anything), but public eating/drinking isn’t exactly my scene.

      • Expat Eye says:

        It’s a bar 🙂
        But yes, I know the traffic light systems on Čaka better than I know any in Dublin! I always sigh and roll my eyes when people start making a move – it’s a cross-walk! It doesn’t work like that! 🙂

      • Nerdator says:

        Well, then I’m not surprised I didn’t know what ‘3 Men’ was, or where it was. As weird as it may appear to someone Irish – especially living in Latvia – I don’t drink booze at all, so I have nothing to do in such places. (I actually have a good amount of it at home, but cooking with it isn’t the same as drinking it. ;))

        Oh, I second the eye-rolling! Although after maybe a second of it, I always realise how silly this feeling actually is, but you can never avoid this initial surge of superiority. 🙂 Plus, there are crossings that aren’t cross-walks on Čaka (like at the crossings with Bruņinieku or Avotu/Blaumaņa Streets).

      • Expat Eye says:

        But I know that – I know that after living in this area for 2 years 🙂 This is another thing about Latvians that kind of stuns me (that I’m trying to make a post out of but it’s not quite there 😉 ) How does nobody know what any street is called or where anywhere is?! And they’re amazed that I do?

      • Nerdator says:

        Oh, I’m about to hit my head on the table in shame – I’ve actually remembered what ‘3 Men’ is – it’s the one with the terrace next to a (trolley)bus stop? It actually looks pretty decent on the outside (and seems to attract a much better crowd than the usual 24h booze shops disguising themselves as cafés in this area – these fine establishments are actually quite a local curiosity :)).

        I’d say, the problem is that Riga is the centre of Latvia, and Riga Centre is the centre of the centre of Latvia (and its population isn’t very high, actually). 🙂 So, you inevitably have lots of non-local people wandering about, who are only visiting, or only working here, or are students and have lived here for just a couple of months. With two years you’re practically a native. 🙂 Plus after all, Riga is a large city, and hard to know everything about everywhere, even in the more central locations.

      • Expat Eye says:

        Yep, that’s the one! I was wondering how you could have missed it as the terrace is quite big and it’s on the main street! 🙂 It is actually pretty decent, mainly a nice crowd (apart from when I go there), and a really good selection of beers for a local bar. I even gave them a mention in an article I wrote for the Baltic Times.

      • Nerdator says:

        Yea, I didn’t miss it, but it doesn’t exactly have ‘3 Men’ written on it – more like a rebus on its sign, so it was stored in my head as ‘that place with the terrace next to that bakery with styrofoam rolls’.

        Do they serve good tea? 🙂 Latvia (Riga, at least) isn’t terrible to its tea-drinkers, but in my experience, unless it’s a specialised place, eateries/drinkeries like to serve ‘Možums’ (local brand, synonym for ‘hay from a meadow in Latgale’) at the price of a box of it per cup.

      • Expat Eye says:

        Ha ha! I’ve only had tea there once – black with milk 😉 It was alright! At home, I drink Ahmad which is great 🙂 Having a cup as I type actually! They do good Leffe which is what I normally drink there! Haven’t been in a while though – must rectify that!

      • Nerdator says:

        Yes, among the budget brands, Ahmad is very good – I particularly like their Earl Grey (they don’t skimp on the bergamot, which I like). The funny thing about it is how hard the brand tries to look ‘English’, even though the company is Russian. 🙂 And I’ve looked – no Ahmad in England. 🙂

        Hey, do you ever meet for a friendly off-line chat with anonymous commenters who have been around your blog for just about a week*, who turn out to live suspiciously nearby, and who might just as well be that barefoot, smelly and intensely tanned guy in a sweat-stained pink tank top that looks like he was born in it, carrying an artillery-shell-sized beer bottle that looks like he was born with it, or that old fat fellow who wears a weird baseball hat with no visor, sports a double-breasted leather jacket, and rides a rusty bicycle every morning? 🙂

        *– following a link posted by the Lady of the Cakes.

      • Expat Eye says:

        Good old Lady of the Cakes 🙂
        Sure I meet up with people! Drop me a line – linda_ogrady@hotmail.com, or find me on FB 🙂

      • Nerdator says:

        I like her blog for the language curios she writes about from time to time. 🙂

        I don’t use FB, so I’ve indeed left something in your mailbox. 🙂 (BTW, it might be a good idea to delete your email address from your comment here now – what with spammers and all.)

      • Expat Eye says:

        Got it 🙂 Replied!

  21. Emmi says:

    Poor, poor, tragically beautiful Latvian women! Maybe some foreign men should come and…

    NO.

    thats pretty cruel isnt it? so you ve dated at least two latvian guys and you dont think foreighn men are allowed to date latvian girls? how would you feel if someone asked a foreigner living in Ireland about irish women and they would have said NO!

    Ive spent only 3 days in Latvia and I felt like men were friendlier than women but I wasnt trying to “date” anyone so what do I know. in general they all seemed a bit cold and standoffish, but before I came to Latvia to visit a friend I had just spent two weeks in Sweden… oh the swedes! after them the latvians werent a big culture shock to me=)))

    its funny because as much as I admire sweden as a country Im not sure I would ever be able to live there. teh men are incredibly handsome, sober, hard working but so boring cold and reserved they literally bored my pants off) if anyone provided me with some kind of entertaiment and human interaction it were the swedish young girls who were for the most part very sweet even though a little reserved.

    latvians seemed to have similiiar nordic personality and were polite enough but they didnt seem too happy about life. as for the women, well I trieid to interact with them mostly since I am a woman myself but they were kinda ignoring me for the most part (Iremembered about your post on hatefull women in the bar) and also cut me off rudely a couple of times. the men were pleasant for the most part but the whole lot of them, both men and women seemed not very engaged as if some where far away=) I didnt really connect with them. I blame it on the nordic mentality thoug)

    • Expat Eye says:

      If someone wants to tell men not to date Irish women, let them. I’m sure they’re not for everyone! I know I’m certainly not 😉
      Funnily enough. I’ve always found Scandinavians to be perfectly lovely (of those I’ve met). Friendly, relaxed, confident – in short, nothing like the average Latvian 😉
      Funny how the women ignored you – I never would have seen that coming!

      • Emmi says:

        yep youre being sarcasic here I gues=) but thank you for your blog its extremely usefull for anyone who ever wants to go to latvia. helps to undertand their strnage personalities – i wanst even suprized when one girl said loudly NO and turned away before I could even finsih the sentence)

      • Expat Eye says:

        Oh, that made me laugh! Yeah, I’ve been there! 🙂 It’s all coming out now haha!

  22. Anna says:

    OH NO. I cant be with you on this one. A man (a person, really, but men are your subject here) isnt made useless because some woman decided to bust his balls and ’emasculate’ him. Unlike in Western societies, in the Soviet Union women were expected to work just as men. None of this stay home mom/wife option, regardless of income (unless small kids were had). And a lot of those times the jobs were in the ‘hard’ sectors – factories, construction, etc etc. Alongside men. And yet women were ALSO expected – by their men – to take care of the house and the kids (also natural holdovers of a patriarchal society, and I doubt this changed much). Latvia had the 2nd highest level of urbanization of the 15 Soviet republics. So when elsewhere in the country or suburbs a man, having come home from work, might have to make himself useful by mending his a fence or mowing a lawn, in the city he was free of such responsibilities. Instead the 2nd shift of a “blushing young boy” was most likely beer and football, while the wife, after working the same shift, made him dinner, fixed clothes, helped kids with homework and watered the tomatoes on the balcony. I dont think any woman, including Latvian, dreams of a ‘castrated’, emasculated man, but they’ve been expected to shoulder double responsibility for decades, and still do (female to male employment ratio in Latvia is about 5% apart). It shouldn’t be a woman’s additional responsibility to ‘let’ men do more. It’s up to men to man up.
    PS – really? the implication that men become alcoholics bc of women? COME ON. Russia’s rates of alcoholism have been consistently dropping for a decade and not because woman have become obedient and appreciative little angels. It’s because of the improvements in economy and investment in infrastructure, education and public health.
    PPS – I’ll substitute Russian for Latvian here, but for every R woman who I’ve known to become hyper-possessive and ragey-jealous over her man looking at another girl, I’ve known a R guy who made his girlfriend give up private communication with all other males in her life, incl ages-old friends.
    PPPS – seriously, with a caveat of structural or institutional barriers, we are all responsible for our own choices and actions. Women are not the gatekeepers, the guardians, the responsibility-takers for men behaving badly. or lazily.

    • Expat Eye says:

      I love your passion – we’re going to have some fun in Riga 😉
      While I agree that everyone is responsible for their own choices, I guess I’m coming at this from a different perspective. All of my friends at home are married. There’s no question of either party ‘allowing’ anyone to do anything. It’s an equal partnership. He has his friends, she has her friends, they have mutual friends. Leaving aside ‘love’, they actually like and respect each other as people. Here, most people seem to be in relationships for the sake of being in a relationship – it doesn’t seem to matter who with.
      And that Latvian Institute thing made my blood boil – could you imagine if it was the other way round? ‘Men are responsible for holding together the home, passing on traditions and also take leading roles in society, while the women admire how strong, capable and handsome their men are’ – it’s reverse sexism at its worst. If the sexes were reversed, there’d be outrage. As it is, the men are like second class citizens in their own country. And while I would LOVE for the men here to man up, I don’t know what it will take for it to happen.

      • Emmi says:

        I dont know if the article of that institute trully represents reality but its just stupid to release such articles. they should rather promote healthy relationships instead of putting one sex above the other)

      • Anna says:

        Noooo. That second part of the ‘imaginary quote’ is twisty. Men taking pride in Latvian women’s beauty reeks of patriarchy – it’s about possessing a valuable asset, and actually reinforced the inflated expectations: it’s not enough for us to have a female president, she has to be hot too! That’s quite different from admiration. Also, lets not ignore the fact that LI is basically an EU-oriented PR platform for Latvia. Of course they want to tout the “equality of genders.” And while I applaud the genuinely impressive achievements of women in the political sphere, how much does it translate into domestic? How much of domestic responsibility is shared by men? I bet the women who wanted to be in power in Latvia didnt wait for an appreciative and engraved invitation from their male members. They fought for it. Being an involved dad or a responsible husband doesnt come with such an invitation either.
        By the way, in Russia the private gender dynamics are very similar, while public are ways away, at least where political power and representation is concerned. India has had a female president and prime minister, but has a horrible track record on women’s rights and treatment. Just goes to show that there isnt necessarily a correlation between what happens up top and at home. Which is, again, disproportionate expectations on women to earn money, take care of the family and home, AND look good doing it.

      • Expat Eye says:

        Ireland has had a female president as well. Two of them, in fact. And I’m sure they fought for it just like any man would have, while holding together their families and everything else. Yet I doubt you’ll find any Irish website that says anything like this nonsense.

      • Anna says:

        Ireland is fighting its own PR battle with reproductive rights. Don’t think I’m not keeping up 😉

      • Expat Eye says:

        OK, OK, media girl 😉

      • Expat Eye says:

        And just like that, you’re American again 😉

      • Anna says:

        Come on, where did you think I got my feminist and “personal responsibility” bona fides? 😛

    • Emmi says:

      hey Anna, I dont know if you care for my opinion since we have argued quite a bit over politics but I absolutely support you on that one. a man does what he wants to do. dont like your wife – find another or think whom you marry first. a lot of those “blushing young boys” are giving flowers on dates to their future wives while simoultanesly giving flowers to multiple other girls. Ive been through this and I live in a country with a normal female to male ratio! I can imagine how bad must it be in former USSR with six women to one guy. a lot of guys just let themselves go and act like jerks becuase they can get away with it. and its the nature of all men not just latvian/russian/austrian men. Ive met western european and american expats in Ukriane who after a few years living there have started to act like total pigs, cheating on their multiple women and drinking their life away. why couldnt they just live? nope they enjoyed such lifestyle.

      • Anna says:

        I appreciate the support 🙂
        I will only note that I dont think it’s in anyone’s “nature” to be a total a$$, but our behavior, especially on a large, societal scale, is usually formed by structural and institutional factors (church, government regulation, education etc), but anything beyond that – it’s about personal responsibility for your choices and actions.

  23. eh, you’re one cruel eye opener, Linda. I’ve thought you’re about to put a knife into one’s wound, but you did not stop at that and also put a couple of screwdrivers into each eye socket, put some salt on all pen wounds, and laughed out loud during the whole torture *if I ever change my orientation, I think I’ll marry you for this or something* Now all i want to say is ‘RUN!’ Tropical heat or no heat, but if I were you now I’d be constantly looking over a shoulder just in case – I would not want any of them harpies on my back. Or hope Latvian women won’t get onto your back before you leave. *Need a place to hide-out, you’re welcome*
    On the other hand, you’ve hit an bullseye here. First, local mothers (Latvian, from what I can tell, and definitely Lithuanian ones from my own experience with only few exceptions) make their sons half wits with too much ‘caring’ (can’t think of a better word), then their girlfriends and later wives sometimes leave men totally castrated with insisting on making ALL of the decisions for them. If they resists… I pity these ones- I’ve met my share of ‘broken’ ones. I might be a weirdo or something, but I agree with you that men should not be treated like something you can puppet-master. Though I also could not be a sulky wife in control. So this leaves me with a puddle instead of sea full of fish to look. Maybe that’s why I’m still a ‘sorry and scornful single’ or whatever.

    • Expat Eye says:

      Ha ha! Great comment! Yeah, clearly I’m no expert on relationships but I know what I DON’T like and I’ve seen far too many of my friends here hurt. Sounds like things are pretty similar there.
      And if I need a hideaway, I know where to head. Stock up on wine 😉

  24. 1WriteWay says:

    Let the arse-kicking begin! A very funny but sad commentary on the status of Latvian men & women. There’s a fair amount of what you say that could be applied to other nationalities, or just to relationships in general. Your last lines should be taken to heart. If only we would treat each other as we want to be treated. If that can’t be managed, then at least don’t treat others the way you don’t want to be treated. Simple, no? And yet so hard for so many people to do. I’m sorry to hear about Yummy Janis. I was kind of hoping he’d make an “honest” woman of you … I’M KIDDING! I think it’s wonderful that you got to enjoy such a relationship, and that you know your own mind 😉

  25. Pecora Nera says:

    I love the way you added some references to back up your post, but I think you are going to get more than your usual hate mail tonight.

    Batten down the hatches and smile…

    All the best PN

  26. The Eye of Sauron, LOL! Was he her little Hobbit… who had turned into Gollum…?

  27. Hey, I’ve got a great idea! Assuming you don’t get stabbed first by some jealous Latvian women, you can send some of these henpecked men my way. We’ve got tons of great advice for just this sort of thing.

    It will be a good English language training exercise. And they can learn some new dick jokes.

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